The discomfort turned into attentive listening, and emotions overflowed from the regret.
What rises in my heart is the desire for victory, along with feelings of gratitude and camaraderie.
I want to win. I must win.
To bring smiles to everyone involved with the blue and red, number 39 runs on the pitch with soul.
With the long whistle signaling six games without a win, Teruhito NAKAGAWA let out a long sigh.
"We couldn't win again..." The frustration tightens in my chest.
"Pathetic..." anger wells up inside me.
"I'm sorry..." he was overwhelmed with self-reproach.
"..."
The overwhelming emotions lost control and naturally overflowed. It seemed to me that it embraced all the 'now' of the people involved with the blue and red.
The match on Aug 17 (Sat) of the 2024 Meiji Yasuda J1 League Sec. 27 against Tokyo Verdy ended in a 0-0 draw. After the match, there were boos at Ajinomoto Stadium. The following week, player Nakagawa shook his head and expressed this.
"Right now, the results are not coming. There are people who question what kind of soccer we are aiming for. But if there is an answer there, we are playing that soccer. In life, there are times when things go well and times when they don't. The same goes for the team. I want to ask how our lives are doing. If everything in life is going well, we wouldn't have to struggle. It is during tough times that the team comes together. The feelings we have for that one match, and what we need to do to win, those things begin to grow individually. How much we can hold on here and turn it into a win. If we can do that, we can become stronger one by one."
I have wanted to win more than anyone else. However, in the following week’s Sec. 28 match against Kyoto Sanga F.C., we suffered a complete defeat of 0-3. Nevertheless, there were people who made me take a deeper breath. The fans and supporters from Tokyo continued to cheer loudly, encouraging the players who were gritting their teeth. There was also the figure of player Nakagawa, who applauded and watched with a lingering sense of regret until the end.
"It's pathetic that we couldn't show our fighting spirit and feelings. We haven't scored a single point, and we were thrown off our game just a minute and a half into the match. We are truly sorry for putting on a performance like that, especially when so many fans and supporters come out to see us. We are able to fight because there are people who kept cheering for us until the end. Given the support we've received, I feel that we must listen to those voices and I tried to hear the cheers as much as possible."
It was a scene etched in my heart with the desire to meet expectations. Taking a step forward from the current situation. That was the vow made as we headed into the match against Sanfrecce Hiroshima in the previous round. Due to the impact of Typhoon No. 10, the travel was moved up by a day, but players like Nakagawa were supposed to charge into enemy territory with enthusiasm.
"In this situation, the fans and supporters want to win the most. They come all the way to the away games, paying a lot of money to cheer for us. We really need to fight in the match and show our determination to win. At times like this, it's important to unite and remember the phrase 'FC Tokyo Family,' working together not just as a team but also with the fans and supporters. This is the time to dig in. If we can win against an opponent who has won six consecutive matches, it will boost our confidence. In that sense, I'm looking forward to it. Each of us needs to prepare to the best of our ability, and since we lost in the Levain Cup at PEACE STADIUM, we want to repay that debt. Any goal can change the momentum if we score just one point. We must not lose our confidence."
The Shinkansen, which I boarded with those words, was stranded at Shin-Fuji Station due to heavy rain in Shizuoka Prefecture. Even after the date changed, the train remained stopped, resulting in about 8 hours of being stuck. After that, I stayed at a hotel near the station. On the evening of the 30th, I moved by bus to a hotel near Haneda Airport, unable to practice the day before. On the morning of the match day, I arrived at Yamaguchi Ube Airport and took a bus for about 3 hours to Hiroshima.
The match, which was affected by the typhoon, became a difficult situation as we were trailing by 3 points until the 18th minute of the second half. Nevertheless, the players' spirits did not break. In the 34th minute of the second half, Tsuyoshi OGASHIWA scored the team's first goal in five matches, igniting the counterattack.
"What is it? I had the feeling of not giving up, but the players who came on midway boosted the team and had the desire to change the flow. Even when it was 0-3, I did not give up."
Just before the end of the match, Nakagawa showed his determination. From a short corner, he broke through Hiroshima's solid defense with individual skill, ultimately causing an own goal with a cross that was shot-like. Despite being battered and bruised, he closed the gap to just one point.
"The short corner was my own decision. To be honest, I didn't feel we could score from a corner kick. Hiroshima is big and strong in terms of height. I thought we wouldn't win just by putting the ball in from a corner. Of course, if it was a pinpoint delivery, it could have been different, but the kicker was (Keita ENDO), who is not usually the one taking the kicks, so that was part of my judgment. I also think the opponent was a bit careless."
However, it fell just short. As the long whistle blew, tears overflowed as if to reveal all the emotions that had been held back. Later, they explained the reason for this.
"I am human too, so I have emotions at that time. I think various emotions came out. I just wanted to win. My desire to win came out in various forms. There was also a feeling of shame. After such travel, there were complex feelings about playing a match with an unclear schedule. All sorts of emotions overflowed. That's how it felt."
The story is not over yet. There is no intention to end it in tears. We have not been able to escape the long tunnel of six winless matches.
"I feel that all the pus and poison have been completely expelled in Hiroshima, including the movement. Every match, whether at home or away, we receive strong support. We have a responsibility to respond to that. However, I just want to make everyone smile. Let's win!"
It is clear to anyone that the team situation is not one that can be viewed optimistically after being without a victory for two months.
But I will never run away.
Fight alongside those who promised victory. That is the 'man’s rule' that Teruhito NAKAGAWA, who has many commitments, has imposed on himself.
Text by Tadashi BABA (Freelance Writer)
